So, it was my birthday on this past Tuesday, and as you can tell from the size of the punchbowl, it was a good night. I am officially 22-years-old, and feel no different from before. I’m still a college student wrestling with the fact that I will be graduating in May, granted I pass all my classes.

Something that I’ve been thinking about is just how fast time can go sometimes. I may be just 22 now, but even now I feel like it was just yesterday when I was only five walking into my first day of kindergarten. How soon will I get married? How soon will I start a family?

Everyone is always concerned with what’s next, that we have forgotten how to live in the present. I’ve talked about how I hate the question, “What are you going to do after college?” The ones that do have a plan for the future are praised as “proactive” and “go-getters” while the ones that are still trying to figure things out are considered “lazy” or “incompetent.” But why are we not allowed to still try and figure things out? We’re all expected to know what we wanted to do years ago. I just wish that there was a pause button for life.

But back to birthdays, it’s starting to get to that point where the “big” birthdays have now passed, and that each birthday hereafter is just another reminder about how short life really is. We couldn’t wait to grow up while we were kids, but now we wish we could turn back the clock. The reality is that we’re all on borrowed time with our own countdown. We just don’t know when our countdowns end.

In no way am I saying that my life has sucked up until this point. My life has been filled with many great things that I am truly thankful for. I have a great relationship with my parents who have given me everything and friends who I would give up my kidneys for. What I am saying is that we aren’t given enough time to be able to appreciate them properly. In fact, society has made it a point to tell us that everything in life is temporary.

But, we shouldn’t let time define our lives. Time is just a social construct. Why do we let a few minutes get in the way of what we really want? We all just want to be happy, but constant deadlines and weekly agendas can sometimes get in the way of that.

Where’s the pause button? Why is taking a mental health day to just relax looked down upon? I guess we can only dream.